A Very Merry Christmas Recap

So Meg and I are back together in the Bay, warranting a long overdue return to this blog. And what better to mark our reunion than a holiday recap full of family time.

The Johnson-Lesch Christmas was once again rife with beautiful quotes, including my mother’s threat to drip wax on me during the candlelit church service and my uncle’s assertion that my baked pear tasted like “a melted candle.”

He was eating said pear dessert because he’s “off sweets,” a restriction that did not prevent him from consuming cheesecake. We collectively decided he should audition for “The Biggest Loser.” It was a proposal that my cousin Taylor met with “But that’s for like really big people,” which was a defense my grandmother met with “Oh Taylor, you’re nice to your father.”

Other great moments included my father’s attempt to pass off “S-T-I-C-H” as the proper spelling of “stitch” during a game of Boggle, our typical communal reading of trashy celebrity magazines (pictured above--and yes, that's grandmother with Star and grandchild with knitting), and my “Who Wore It Best?” showdown with my cousin Brooklyn.

We over-accessorized a bit.

The get-together concluded with a customary “Seinfeld” viewing, during which we subconsciously picked up tips on how to be mean to each other. Let's just say "Serenity now!" was yelled my our mother on more than one occassion.

psyched.

Over spring break, my sister received season 2 of "Psych" in her Easter basket (yes, at 19 and 20 we still get Easter baskets).  Having gotten the first two seasons of the far superior "Seinfeld" in my own Easter basket, I wasn't too interested.  Meg watches about 6 other procedural crime shows, so I can't say her tastes are too discerning.  But then she started playing "Psych" episodes.  When I was in the house.  And could hear them.  I became intrigued...

"Psych," which airs on USA, is basically about two friends who have a psychic business... but neither of them is actually psychic.  One of them is just super observant, and is just using the psychic cover to gain credibility as a detective (It makes perfect sense, I know).  The other one seems logistically useless, but he drives a blue Echo, so he certainly brings something to the table.  From what I gather so far, they go "undercover" by using silly names, look around at stuff to solve the case, and then make a big scene about psychic "visions," exposing the generic bad guy.  They also always seem to be desperate to cut in on police cases because the police can apparently pay them more money than they can make privately.  And if they do take a private case, it always, always, ALWAYS becomes related to whatever the po-po are currently investigating.

The mystery part of the show is ridiculous.  I learned quickly that it follows the Scooby-Doo formula: if a subsidiary character has a line early in the episode, he or she is probably the murderer/almost murderer/thief/etc.   The cops are stupid, and the villains are even stupider.   But the show's genius lies in its ability to cram a huge number of pop culture references into the witty banter of its primary characters, Shawn and Gus (played by James Roday and Dule Hill), between conversation about the actual case.  It makes me giggle, and I especially love that I don't have to actually sit down and watch it to enjoy it.  As I follow about 8 shows with additional DVD viewing, I'm big on multi-tasking. 

Although I wish they'd make it even more zany, "Arrested Development"-style, I'm still pretty stoked about a show that can make clever and seamless quips about Keyser Soze, the guy from the Pollo Loco commercials, and Are You There, God?  It's Me, Margaret without breaking a sweat.  And if you don't know who Keyser Soze is, go rent "The Usual Suspects."  Right now.  

renee walker is the new jack bauer.

*SPOILERS AHEAD (but only of previously-aired "24" episodes)*

I'm not a diehard fan of "24," and have lost interest during some of the past years, whenever the storyline gets less personal and more political. But this season, with the return of old boss Bill Buchanan, the formerly-dead Tony Almeida, and my personal favorite, the still awesomely awkward hack-master Chloe O'Brian, I have been pretty rivited.

My favorite part of this season is probably one of its new characters: FBI agent Renee Walker. I knew I was going to like her from the moment she gave Jack the go-ahead to do whatever he needed to do to get whatever information they needed from whatever forgettable subsidiary bad guy they had in the first episode. Then when Jack and Walker went after Tony together, they proved to be a great team. Finally, Jack has a female sidekick who isn't a traitor (Nina), a bit socially retarded (Chloe), or compelled to constantly speak in a half-whisper while making brooding faces (Tony, who still seems to be bitter he lost out on that Batman role to Christian Bale... and yes, I just called him a girl).

Sure, she works for a real government agency rather than an imaginary one, and she may betray more emotion than mere urgency, showing us a few weeks ago that she really "feels pain," but other than that, Agent Walker has a lot in common with Jack. She goes after the bad guys alone when her boss tells her not to. She's narrowly escaped death time and time again--even after being shot in the neck and burried alive. She even shed her her suit for an edgier jeans-and-jacket ensemble. And most importantly, she doesn't seem to mind a little light torture. She does what she has to do to get the job done.

I'm hoping for a little Walker-Bauer romance before the day is out, because whatever relationship they've been hinting at between Rene and her FBI boss seems super boring, and the FBI boss seems super shady. But even if they don't go that way, I'm stoked she's a part of the show. I hope they let her survive the season.

my (megan's) picks.

I am not near as educated nor do I care as much about what makes a good movie; I just want to be entertained.

Here would be my picks/categories:

MOVIES:

Biggest Disappointment: Indian Jones

Should Know When to Stop Making More Sequels: Clone Wars

Most Relatable: Fanboys

I Wish I Lived There: Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

Best Stupid Musical: TIE- Hamlet 2 and High School Musical 3: Senior Year

Best Action/ Superhero: The Dark Knight
Runner-up: Iron Man

Most Heartbreaking: Revolutionary Road

Most Unnecessary Confusion: 7 Pounds

Could Watch Over and Over: TIE- Twilight and Wanted

Best War: Tropic Thunder

TELEVISION:
Best Reality: The Amazing Race

Most Confusing: Lost

Best Comedy: TIE- Weeds and The Office

Best Drama: 24

Best "Who Done it:" TIE- Bones and Criminal Minds

Wish There Was No Elimination: The Biggest Loser

Will Never be as Good as Season One: Heroes

ACTORS:
Some were good, some were bad; who cares?

awards season

The Oscars, which I once informed my father are "my Superbowl," are tomorrow. I'm not in total concurrence with the nominees, the likely winners, or even the award categories, and I've seen most of the nominees this year, so I actually feel like I know what I'm talking about. So this year, I'm publishing my own personal picks...

MOVIES

Best Picture: “Slumdog Millionaire”
Runner-up: “Gran Torino”

Best Male Actor: Mickey Rourke, “The Wrestler”

Best Female Actor: Angelina Jolie, “Changeling”
Runner-up: Kate Winslet, “Revolutionary Road”

Best Director: TIE – Danny Boyle, “Slumdog Millionaire” and Clint Eastwood, “Gran Torino”

Best Supporting Male Actor: Heath Ledger, “The Dark Knight”

Best Supporting Female Actor: Penelope Cruz, “Vicky Christina Barcelona”

Best Comedy: “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”

Best Action Movie: “The Dark Knight”

Best Screenplay: “Slumdog Millionaire” *I know that this is an adaptation, but as I haven’t read the novel Q & A, I shall consider the script alone

Best Adapted Screenplay: “The Reader” *Read it!

Best Cinematography: "Slumdog Millionaire"

Most Depressing: “Revolutionary Road”

Biggest Disappointment: TIE – “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” and “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” *To be fair, I haven’t seen "Ben Button." But after hearing a multitude of lackluster reviews from people who know a lot about movies, I have no desire to. It is apparently way too long, and lacks conflict.

Best Bad Movie That Was More Entertaining Than Most Good Movies: TIE – “Wanted” and “Twilight”

Best Angst: Evan Rachel Wood, “The Wrestler”

Best Train Wreck: Mickey Rourke, “The Wrestler”

Best Character Actor: Kristen Wiig

Best Kiss: Angelina Jolie and James MacAvoy, "Wanted"

Best Movie Theater Commentary: "It's been too long since 'Tokyo Drift.'" - Dan Bowen, after the new "Fast & Furious" trailer
Runner-up: "Yay!" - Ashley Vargus, after the first 7-ish minutes of "Revolutionary Road"

TELEVISION

Best Drama: TIE – “Dexter” and “24” *This season may have missed the awards cut-off, but I don’t care. I’m making up my own awards.

Best Comedy: “The Office”

Best Miniseries/TV Movie: “Raisin in the Sun”

Best Male Actor – Drama: Michael C. Hall, “Dexter”

Best Female Actor – Drama: Jennifer Carpenter, “Dexter”

Best Male Actor – Comedy: Alec Baldwin, “30 Rock”

Best Female Actor – Comedy: Mary Louise Parker, “Weeds”

Best Reality Show: “The Amazing Race”

Biggest Disappointment: “Heroes”

Trashiest Guilty Pleasure: “Rock of Love: Bus Tour”
Runner-up: “The Tool Academy”

Best Talk Show: “Chelsea Lately”

AWARDS SEASON

Best Speech: Hugh Laurie, anytime he wins something

Most Obnoxious Speech: Anne Hathaway, The Critics’ Choice Awards

Biggest Snub: Clint Eastwood, Gran Torino

Best Dress: TIE – Angelina Jolie, The Golden Globes, and Freida Pinto, The Screen Actors Guild Awards

Best Newcomers: Dev Patel and Freida Pinto, “Slumdog Millionaire”

The Why-Is-She-Invited-To-This-Awards-Show Award: Miley Cyrus

*I know some of my clips are from previous years. Sorry. They're the best I could find.